Lindsay Lohan's Hooker Photoshoot - and her dad says, "she'll be dead in one year".

WHY is Lindsay still on magazine covers?

Awesome. Pin-thin, topless with a teddy bear.

Calling all pervs!

I have never seen this magazine before, and believe me--I'm a periodical HO. This is not IN STYLE.

Maybe she's on the cover because at first the publishers thought (incorrectly!) that Lindsay's internship/designing position with Ungaro would be a success. It was nothing but leggings, y'all; it was panned and now she's making excuses and blaming everyone else.

We also have Michael Lohan (aka A-Hole Father of the Year, a title he shares with his BFF Jon Gosselin) who takes to the media (read: anyone who will listen then print what he has to say) to discuss his daughter's issues:


"It could be a year, a month, a week - who knows?" Michael Lohan told Grazia magazine. "She has a plethora of medicine you can't mix and can't drink with."

He added, "She needs long-term rehab. I fear the worst. Look at Elvis, Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger - who was a close friend of hers."

Michael Lohan recently appeared on Maury Povich's television show and claimed his daughter has an addiction to prescription pills saying, "There's nothing left of her."

First of all, Heath Ledger was most likely not a "close friend" of LIndsay's. She and the Monkey-Faced Olsen Twin probably shared a dealer at one time, and a close friend that does not make. Nice try, though.

Secondly? I think Mr. Lohan believes he will be better off financially if Lindsay does die. He has compared her to deceased icons (what? No Princess Diana?) who have gobs of image-licensing money coming in--but he needs to get a GD clue.  Even Anna Nicole Smith had a better career than Lindsay ever could at this point. (And she married that old rich dude.) Michael Lohan has more to worry about than his eldest  daughter. Ali, who is 15 going on 45 needs some parenting as well. 


These people are all idiots and now I have a headache. I may sue.

Oh, and just in case you didn't already know--Lindsay Lohan is a GENIUS.

This is the photo you'll find

next to the "genius" in the DICKtionary. 

Oh, Dina Lohan. Do you really think by saying crap like this that it makes up for neglected your kids? Because, it DOESN'T. Listen to the "Genius's" mom:

via Page Six:

"Furious Dina told Page Six yesterday: "I don't go -- like my ex -- on national television and make things up. He's estranged from Lindsay; he doesn't know what's going on in her life. Michael doesn't talk to her.

"I've had full custody (read: remissness) of all my children for the last 10 years. He has been incarcerated for some of that time, so whatever is going on in Lindsay's personal life is our business. And for him getting paid to say things about her when he's five months behind in child support is wrong."

When we asked if Lindsay does have addiction problems, Dina, who sounded tired and emotional, said, "I have no idea what he is talking about. I can't comment on everything my ex says." (Read: WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?)

Lindsay was also hurt by criticism of her debut Ungaro fashion line. Dina said, "The critics can say whatever they want, but Lindsay is a genius."

"Genius" behavior at its best.lind

Hold up. I needa catch my breath here. The last four words in the quote above nearly knocked the wind out of me. 

Jaaayzus wept.