Lady Gaga's "Monster Ball" Tour Dates Announced!

I think Tampax Heavy-Days

is sponsoring the tour.

Sorry.

See? Lady Gaga hates the rain in Seattle, too. She's not bringing her tour to the Depression Emerald City. Psssh. I know some gurrls who gon' be pissed, y'all. Apparently it's gonna be a glittery, shiny "multi-media" QueerFest, and WE don't get to participate.

Goddamnit, Gaga. Don't you realize we are all depressed enough as it is, without YOU snubbing our fine asses, too??

Sigh. Here's the sked:

November 27 – Montreal, Quebec, Canada – The Bell Center
November 28 – Toronto, Ontario, Canada – Air Canada Center
November 29 – Ottawa, Ontario, Canada – Scotiabank Place
December 01 – Boston, MA – Wang Center
December 02 – Boston, MA – Wang Center
December 03 – Camden, NJ – Susquehanna
December 09 – Vancouver, BC, Canada – Queen Elizabeth Theatre
December 10 – Vancouver, BC, Canada – Queen Elizabeth Theatre
December 13 – San Francisco, CA – Bill Graham Civic
December 18 – Las Vegas, NV – TBD
December 19 – San Diego, CA – San Diego Sports Arena
December 21 – Los Angeles, CA – Nokia Theatre
December 29 – Atlanta, GA – Fox Theater
December 31 – Miami, FL – Knight Center
January 03 – Orlando, FL – The Hard Rock
January 07 – St. Louis, MO – The Fox
January 08 – Chicago, IL – Chicago Theatre
January 09 – Chicago, IL – Chicago Theatre
January 12 – Detroit, MI – Fox Theater
January 16 – Atlantic City, NJ – Borgata
January 20 – New York, NY – Radio City Music Hall
January 21 – New York, NY – Radio City Music Hall

via gagadaily.com  

Please Lord. Let me put up something more interesting than Khloe Kardashian's wedding today.

"..and then???"

For crying out loud. I'm stuck today. I'm really, truly stuck. 

Obviously, I must love celebrity gossip enough to write about it (and usually make fun of), but yeeeesh. This whole fakey filmed/no pre-nup wedding has really gotten to me. Who ARE these people? Why does anyone even care about them? (Besides Ryan Seacrest, who's making piles of money producing their reality shows on E!...)  They certainly know what they're doing, those Kardashians. No need for more sex tapes anymore, huh, girls?

NINE MORE MONTHS

Autumn is sneaking into the Northwest today, and will hit like a sledgehammer tomorrow. Summer completely flew by, as it always does in Seattle. Prepare yourself for plenty of moaning about "this goddamned rain" from me...it's already stuck in my throat. We won't have any decent weather for 9 months. NINE. MONTHS.


Last year, my darling husband Stephen bought me one of those S.A.D. lights. James the boxer chewed the chord to pieces. I don't know if it did me any good, honestly. A fellow-blogger in Seattle, Spicypants, of CelebritySmackblog.com says that she goes tanning to avoid depression. I do feel better when I go to the tanning salon, with its smell of sweat and coconut. I think not being suicidal wins over the fear of skin cancer. Now there's a choice I can stand behind. Dork.


The big news of the day? He's walking. Felix. Is. Walking. I'm following this little drunkard around, talking like a goon ("...and then? And then?? I don't know why I always ask him that question.) We play "Hey Baby'"--the game, not the song. It's basically Hide and Seek, but he thinks it's pretty darn hilarious. 


At the risk of sounding like one of those goony Mom blogs, I'll just say this: I'll take Felix and his silliness over a Kardashian story any day.  I hope you will, too.

What the goddamnhell is Courtney Love doing with Hugo Chavez??

"Rrrrrico. Chavez."

What???

This picture makes me sick on so many levels. Courtney crawled out of her coffin to attend crazy-face Oliver Stone's film about Taco Bell, "South of the Border". (That is what it's about, right?) And look who she ended up with--Hugo-Freakin' Chavez, that crazy dictator from Venezuela. I'm surprised the earth didn't implode.

via NY Daily News:

"Courtney Love is still floating on the charm offensive that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez launched at Wednesday's screening of Oliver Stone's new documentary, "South of the Border." The singer, who came dressed to thrill in a short zipper-front skirt, says she noticed the twice-divorced Chavez checking her out during a Q&A afterward.

"It was the third wink that sold me," Mrs. Kurt Cobain told us. "He's a sexy dawg. He invited me to visit his country and I'd like to go. I'll rock Caracas!"  WHATthegoddamnhell????

I'm busy flipping through the Yellow Pages in search of the nearest vomitorium. Repeat after me: Oliver Stone. Courtney Love. Hugo Chavez.

Last one to puke is a rotten egg.