Chris Brown is still being a stupid douche; this time on Twitter

Dumbass Chris Brown is finding out that certain behavior might actually cost him. Here are a couple of rants from Brown's Twitter this afternoon.

via Twitter:

 

- im tired of this shit. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the fuck do i gotta do...

- WTF... yeah i said it and i aint retracting shit

- im not biting my tongue about shit else... the industry can kiss my ass

Isn't Chris Brown just awesome, you guys? (I know you can smell the sarcasm...)

Tiger Woods? If we know about 10 mistresses, there MUST be over 100! **UPDATE** Tiger didn't use condoms. WHAT???

How'd ya get that cut, Mr. Man?

So we're up to 10 and counting, y'all. Sigh. If you're taking notes--and I know you are--here you go: 

via Extratv.com

1. Cori Rist: The New Yorker got involved with the golfer after meeting him at a club in Manhattan, according to the New York Post. Says her ex husband's girlfriend on Rist and Woods' involvement, "I am not surprised at all."

2. Mindy Lawton: The 33-year-old pancake-house waitress claimed Woods dumped her in 2007 after National Enquirer cameras caught the pair having sex in his SUV outside her trailer in April 2007. "Tiger just used me as his sex toy," Lawton told a British tabloid over the weekend.

3. Jaimee Grubs: A 24-year-old Las Vegas-based cocktail waitress who told Us Weekly she had 20 sexual encounters with Woods in about three years. The golfer left her a voicemail urging her to delete her name from her cell phone's outgoing message because his wife Elin Nordegren had found out about their affair.

4. Rachel Uchitel: One of the golfer's pals paid for a plane ticket for the 33-year-old VIP club hostess to meet Woods at an Australian golf tournament last month. Woods allegedly paid her "at least a million dollars" to keep quiet about their affair, according to the daughter of Uchitel's lawyer.

5. Kalika Moquin: Her pals have told media outlets the 27-year-old Las Vegas-based club employee is no longer involved with the father of two.

6. Jamie Jungers: The 26-year-old -- who reportedly met Woods in Vegas -- worked for Trashy Girls, a lingerie line and entertainment agency.

7. Another VIP Club Hostess: An unnamed 26-year-old from Orlando, Fla. claims to have carried on a two-year affair with the married golfer. "The woman was 20 when Tiger approached her," her lawyer told the New York Post. Now a corporate employee, "she has not come forward... out of respect for Woods."

8. British TV Broadcaster: According to the London Sun, Woods would "hook up" with this woman while in England. "His fling... was the talk of the PGA," says the paper.

9. Older woman: British reports claim Woods also had dalliances with a "sex-addicted cougar," although not much is known about her yet.

10. Holly Sampson: According to the Sun, Woods was involved with this 36-year-old porn actress, who has starred in flicks such as "OMG, Stop Tickling Me" and "Flying Solo 2." She has neither confirmed nor denied the reports."

Great. Pretty soon we'll have the "Twelve Ho's of Tiger" to sing for the holidays. 

..."FIVE COCKTAIL WAITRESSESSSSSSSS!" 

**UPDATE**

This is just idiotic...but typical. According to US Magazine Cheetah Tiger Woods wasn't in favor of using comdoms. He didn't enjoy condoms, nor did he look forward to using condoms. (Those are phrases used in our family when we LOATHE or REFUSE to do one thing or another--thanks to Tim Gunn and my sweet friend, Kimberly!) Get a load of THIS crap:


"Jaimee Grubbs -- a 24-year-old cocktail waitress who broke the news to Us Weekly that she had a 31-month affair with Tiger Woods -- says the golfer, 33, never wanted to use protection.

Apparently, he also didn't use condoms while bedding 33-year-old restaurant manager Mindy Lawton, according to Lawton's sister, Lynn. "She said he never wore condoms," Lynn told British tabloid, News of the World. "I was so worried she might catch a disease, especially as we suspected he was promiscuous."



Experts tell Usmagazine.com that not only did Woods risk his own life, but also the lives of his wife, model Elin Nordegren, and their two children, Sam, 2, and Charlie, 10 months.

"It's self-destructive behavior," says psychotherapist Rhonda Findling, author of Don't Call That Man! "Sometimes it's just momentary stupidity, but this seems like sexual addiction."


Woods likely forgot about protecting himself because "the only thing he cared about at that moment was feeling good," says Findling."

How long before little Tiger CUBS start peeking their heads out?


 

I've stooped to an all-time low. Thanks a LOT, Tiger Woods.

 Ugh.

I'm sorry, you guys. I made a transgression by decided to post a completely Photoshopped picture of Cheetah Tiger Woods that's all over the internet. Hey, y'all might as well see it here, the way I see it.

 

via TMZ: 

"Co-workers tell TMZ on Friday -- the day of Tiger's crash -- Jaimee went to work, played the voicemail to co-workers and then later in the evening said she had received a call from a blocked number. Jaimee says she answered and asked who was on the line. Jaimee says the caller -- a woman -- did not identify herself but said, "You know who this is because you're f**king my husband."

Oh gurrrrl. 

Today's Blind Item - Dueling A-Listers Edition

"This A list movie actor recently quit a very high profile movie he was to begin shooting. There was no real reason why he suddenly decided to take a pass. Well, the reason is a pass. It turns out that the A list actor hit on the wife of his fellow A list co-star who threatened to walk out if the offender wasn't fired. Our A list lecher was allowed to quit rather than being fired."

via CDaN


Didn't a certain douche "quit" the Three Stooges film? Google it and take a guess and let me know. Heh.

What the goddamnhell is Courtney Love doing with Hugo Chavez??

"Rrrrrico. Chavez."

What???

This picture makes me sick on so many levels. Courtney crawled out of her coffin to attend crazy-face Oliver Stone's film about Taco Bell, "South of the Border". (That is what it's about, right?) And look who she ended up with--Hugo-Freakin' Chavez, that crazy dictator from Venezuela. I'm surprised the earth didn't implode.

via NY Daily News:

"Courtney Love is still floating on the charm offensive that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez launched at Wednesday's screening of Oliver Stone's new documentary, "South of the Border." The singer, who came dressed to thrill in a short zipper-front skirt, says she noticed the twice-divorced Chavez checking her out during a Q&A afterward.

"It was the third wink that sold me," Mrs. Kurt Cobain told us. "He's a sexy dawg. He invited me to visit his country and I'd like to go. I'll rock Caracas!"  WHATthegoddamnhell????

I'm busy flipping through the Yellow Pages in search of the nearest vomitorium. Repeat after me: Oliver Stone. Courtney Love. Hugo Chavez.

Last one to puke is a rotten egg.

Taylor Swift discusses Kanye (aka The Asshole) on The View

Yeah, you heard right. Kanye has not reached out to Taylor herself...only to his retarded BLOG and Jay Leno....UNTIL after Taylor stated that fact. THEN he called her. 
 
via The Huffington Post:

"Representatives from "The View" say West called Swift after her appearance on Tuesday's show. During the broadcast, the 19-year-old singing sensation said West had yet to contact her to apologize for hijacking her MTV Video Music Awards acceptance speech on Sunday.

The incident caused an uproar and led West to give an emotional apology on Monday's premiere of "The Jay Leno Show."

"The View" says Swift has accepted the apology."

That dumbshit. Oh, and I love how Taylor's mom went after his ass at the VMAs right after Kanye stomped on her winning moment.

via People Magazine:

"Minutes after Kanye West stormed the stage as she accepted her Video Music Award, a teary-eyed Taylor Swift pulled herself together to perform her award-winning song, "You Belong With Me," atop a cab parked in front of Radio City Music Hall.

But West only continued the drama by angering the entire Swift family. After Swift's mother, Andrea, asked to speak to the rapper and, a source tells PEOPLE, "tore into him," the rapper continued to maintain that Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" should have won Best Female Video instead and made no formal apology."

How many other Mama Bears out there would have kicked his ever-lovin' ass after disrespecting her baby? The rage I feel toward this mofo is just crazy. 

Asshole Kanye turns into a whiney crybaby on Leno

Shut up, you big pussy.

Why didn't Leno have Taylor Swift on tonight instead? (I know, she'll be in New York instead for The View tomorrow. I'm sure Whoopi will be gracious and sympathetic toward her, but I am not sure about Sherri Shephard. She didn't have one negative word to say about Kanye's behavior, but she sure did about Joe Wilson's outburst last week during the President's speech to Congress. I'm just sayin'.)

ANYbitch. In typical man-bitch style, Kanye goes from bully to pussy in just a matter of hours. Effing crybaby.

Oh, and President Obama called Kanye a "jackass". I love it.

The Asshole (aka Kanye West) to appear on Jay Leno tonight?

 

No. Just NO.

Finally. A real opportunity for me to talk about Jay Leno. 'Round these parts (my bedroom), he's referred to as The Lowest Common Denominator of Comedy. I can't even begin to tell y'all how truly unfunny I find The Chin of Late Night (now he's on at the nursing home hour of 10:00 p.m.).
 

So. Jay thinks he's going to pull the same schtick he did with tranny and hooker-lover Hugh Grant all those years ago, but with a complete a-hole who humiliated at 19-year old Taylor Swift l last night on the MTV VMAs. (High pitched voice and wink: "What the hell were you thinking?" HAR HAR HAR.)

Stupid move, Jay. No one wants to hear this dumbshit speak in CAPS LOCK.

This douche is NOT what I want to see first thing Sunday morning.

Ick. Nast.

Goddamnit, Gosselin. Thanks for making me swear on Sunday morning. But I never, ever thought I 'd have to see your flip-flopped ass "hosting" a Vegas pool party. They seem to just dole this gatherings to just any a-hole, don't they?

Just look at this douche (read: PAID, father of 8), trying his best "sexy-face" at Wet Republic at the MG-EFFING-Grand. I don't know if I'll be able to finish licking my plate of Eggs Florentine (wiping hollandaise from my chin).

Okay. Nothing keeps me from licking hollandaise. Hush up.