Brittany Murphy's Husband, Simon Monjack Speaks Out About His Wife's Death...

 Simon Conjack Monjack

driving himself around the

day Brittany died. Seriously?

I gotta tell ya something. If I were dealing with the death of my spouse or a child, the LAST GOTDAMN THING I would be doing is talking to ANYONE. And I mean ANYONE. Get. The. EFF. Away. That includes news, bloggers or Access-Freaking-Hollywood.


When I hear about someone like this Monjack character (aka Brittany Murphy's husband) talking to Access Hollywood, it makes me cringe. We're all getting the sense that he's trying to clear his name before it's officially sullied. 

via AccessHollywood:

“My world was destroyed yesterday,” an emotional Monjack told Access Hollywood on Monday afternoon.

Following the news of the actress’ death at the age of 32 on Sunday, the Hollywood community offered an outpouring of love and condolences for Murphy – and one message, in particular, was very moving to Monjack.

“I loved what Ashton [Kutcher] wrote on Twitter. It was comforting to me,” Monjack told Access Hollywood, adding he did not know his wife’s former “Just Married” co-star personally. “I couldn’t have said it better.” (Really, dude? YOU couldn't have said it better?  You left it to your wife's ex-fiance`?)

The message posted by Ashton read, “2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine. My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany’s family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon. see you on the other side kid.”

“She had laryngitis,” he said, noting she had seen a doctor. “She had been tired at the end of the year. She had made a couple movies.” (Oh, and all those prescription drugs found by the bed...)

In his interview with Access, Monjack – who married Murphy in 2007 — took exception to the idea that his wife may have been linked to people who were bad influences on her. (He took "exception", did he?)

“I don’t know why anyone would think that,” he said. “She found love. We found love. Brittany didn’t get to where Brittany was with anyone controlling her… Brittany was Brittany.”

Another publication had some more descriptive outline of this guy and his questionable behavior:

via US Magazine:

Regarding Simon Monjack:

1. He's Been Friends With Brittany Since She Was 17 But they didn't wed until 2007 -- after her two failed engagements to best-boy grip Joe Macaluso and talent agent Jeff Kwatinetz and a seven-month romance with Ashton Kutcher.


2. His nickname to some is "Conjack" He started out directing commercials and later went on to work as a director and screenwriter. But Vanity Fair points out "his most significant credit to date is contributing story material" to the 2006 Edie Sedgwick bio Factory Girl. The film's director George Hickenlooper has accused Monjack -- dubbed "Conjack" by some associates who accuse him of shady business dealings -- of improperly suing to get an executive producer credit on the film, which Hickenlooper alleges Monjack then used to scam his way into other productions. Hickenlooper recently blogged (according to VF):

"He is a con man and a bad guy. When Brittany married him I warned her and warned her as did so many others. I only hope to God that this creep wasn't instrumental in her sad sad demise."
 
Vanity Fair is NOT a gossip rag, y'all. Oh, and Brittany's long-time friend Jamie Presley's response when asked if she was close to Brittany--"I was, before she married him." Wow.


3. He was evicted According to New York's Daily News, there was a big income disparity between Murphy and Monjack. While she was paid $4 million for 2004's Little Black Book, he encountered numerous financial woes (he was once reportedly sued by a mortgage company for $470,000 and evicted from his residence).

4. He was "incoherent," hospitalized a month before Brittany's death In November, he was rushed to a L.A. hospital after reportedly becoming incoherent during a flight from Puerto Rico (where he was accused of causing problems on the set of one of Murphy's former films, which they denied). Murphy had said he was treated for asthma.


5. He frantically tried to save her life After Murphy was found
"unresponsive" on her bathroom floor Dec. 20, Monjack, who was in bed, ran to the bathroom, according to notes from an investigator with the Los Angeles coroner's office. He "attempted to revive the descendent by placing her in the shower and running the water."



6. He initially didn't want an autopsy performed He has said it was because he "couldn't bear" the idea of his wife being cut open. (An autopsy was performed Monday, but toxicology results could take up to six weeks to be final.)


7. He insists they were in love "We found love," he told Access Hollywood Monday. "Brittany didn't get to where Brittany was with anyone controlling her."


Bottom line: I would need to be admitted to the gotdamn NUTHOUSE if I were him. What about y'all? Is it just me?

Tiger Woods quits golf "indefinitely"...flees to Sweden?

What are you so pissed about, Tiger??

So, Cheetah Tiger Woods is quittin' the golf for awhile (watch the PGA ratings plummet), so he can beg for his life back with Elin. Rumors are swirlin' around that he's going to Sweden (where Elin may be hiding out) to try and fix things. 

This wasn't just one indiscretion. Tiger is a serial "Transgressor". Is that even a word? Great. He's going to a country where there's nothing but hot blonde chicks, like the gals he hooked up with over and over again.(Not counting that Perkins Pancake House chick he schtupped in the parking lot after having breakfast with Elin and the kids.) Maybe they should go somewhere (Greece? Italy? New Jersey?) where he doesn't have as much temptation. Anyway, here's the Cheater of ALL Cheater's Official Statement:

 via WWTDD per TigerWoods.com

"I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.

I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What’s most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.
After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.

Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period."

This oughta be good.

Tiger Woods UPDATE. Oh, BROTHER!

I'd actually like to see Elin's muscle.

All together now, "You spin me right round, Baby, right round..."--because here comes The Spin According to Tiger regarding the hot mess that happened early Friday night. Tiger took to his Official Website to let us all know that it ain't no big thang.


"Tiger wrote, “As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore. (Oh. Uh-huh.)


This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.” ("Hello, Zales? This is Tiger Woods...)

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously (and like a wife who found out her man ALLEGEDLY hooked up with a 'ho) when she saw I was hurt (SNORT!) and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.” (Oh. Okaaay.)

This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, (you're goddamn right it has!) our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.”

Tiger? Come ON.

Balloon Boy found safe - hiding in family's attic.

Copywrite: The Simpsons/Groening

 

I know three little boys who 

may get a talkin' to.

Richard and Mayumi Heene with their sons, Bradford, Ryo and Falcon (middle). 

So, yeah. Falcon (nka "Balloon Boy") was hiding in the house the whole time. 

Bear in mind, this family has been involved in lots of "adventures" for ages. The family appeared on (ugh) Wife Swap, and the dad is a former weather man-turned storm chaser and inventor. Lot of folks are calling in to CNN saying it was a huge publicity stunt by the dad, but I have two (grown now) boys and know how wild they can be at time. 

Once I felt the relief over hearing about Ryo's safety, I bit my lip, trying not to giggle. I KNOW. I couldn't help it. It's a Boy Thing...granted, an extreme Boy Thing, but nevertheless. 

Here is a quick rundown of the events that transpired today:

via MSNBC.com:

FORT COLLINS. Colo. -

A 6-year-old boy was found hiding in the attic at home Thursday, several hours after the runaway flight of his family's experimental balloon riveted the nation and led to a frantic search for the child, who was feared to have fallen from the craft.

The news that the boy was safe at home came during a press conference with Larimer County Sheriff's Office officials.

"Apparently the boy’s been there the whole time. He’s been hiding in cardboard box in the attic above the garage," Sheriff Jim Alderden said.

One of boy's older brothers had initially told authorities he saw his brother climb into a box compartment attached to the bottom of the balloon before it became untethered and took off.

The giant silver balloon's bizarre two-hour flight played out live on television, watched by millions of viewers across the country. The balloon rotated slowly in the wind, tipping precariously at times, during its journey before coming down in a dirt field in neighboring Weld County, more than 40 miles away from where it took off.

Deputies rushed to the scene and corralled and deflated the balloon but found no sign of the boy, identified as Falcon Heene, or the box that may have been attached.

The boy's family had been building a helium-balloon craft that was kept tethered in the backyard of their home. The craft, which resembled a silver flying saucer, was approximately 20 feet across by 5 feet high.

On Thursday morning, Falcon was playing outside with one of his two older brothers when the older boy said he saw the younger one go into a box or basket at the bottom of the balloon, said Cathy Davis of the Larimer County Sheriff's Department.

The craft somehow became loose and the balloon took off. It was airborne for more than two hours and glided through two counties.

"This balloon was never meant to actually carry anybody. It was just a family project they were working on," a Fort Collins police spokesperson told reporters.

'Big round balloonish thing'

Several people in the neighborhood saw the aircraft floating over their homes, and some snapped pictures.

Bob Licko, 65, said he was leaving home when he heard commotion in the backyard. He said he saw two boys on the roof with a camera, commenting about their brother.

"One of the boys yelled to me that his brother was way up in the air," Licko said.

He said the boy's mother seemed distraught and that the boy's father was running around the house.

"We were sitting eating, out looking where they normally shoot off hot air balloons," said another neighbor, Lisa Eklund. "My husband said he saw something. It went over our rooftop. Then we saw the big round balloonish thing, it was spinning."

Television news helicopters also tracked the craft, beaming the precarious flight live to viewers.

Officials scrambled to figure out how to safely bring down the craft, believing it was carrying the boy.

The Federal Aviation Administration worked to track the aircraft on radar. A helicopter with the Colorado National Guard was launched to help in any rescue.

The episode led to a brief shutdown of northbound departures from Denver International Airport, one of the nation's busiest, said a controller at the Federal Aviation Administration's radar center in Longmont, Colo. The balloon was about 15 miles northwest of the airport at that time.

The craft floated for about two hours before coming down on its own in a field in Weld County, northeast of Denver International Airport, more than 40 miles away.

The experimental balloon craft came down in a field.

Storm chaser

The boy's father, Richard Heene, is an amateur scientist, according to a 2007 Denver Post article on weather chasers. He joined another man, Scott Stevens, to form a Fort Collins-based weather-research team they called The Psyience Detectives.

In the article, Heene described becoming a storm chaser after a tornado ripped off a roof where he was working as a contractor and said he once flew a place around Hurricane Wilma's perimeter in 2005.

Pursuing bad weather was a family activity with the children coming along as the father sought evidence to prove his theory that rotating storms create their own magnetic fields.

Although Richard said he has no specialized training, they had a computer tracking system in their car and a special motorcycle.

The Heene also family appeared twice in the ABC reality show “Wife Swap," most recently in February. On the show, they were portrayed as alien buffs who are obsessed with science.

"When the Heene family aren't chasing storms, they devote their time to scientific experiments that include looking for extraterrestrials and building a research-gathering flying saucer to send into the eye of the storm," according to ABC's description of the episode."

I sure as heck hope DSHS isn't called into this fiasco. They need to focus on their real jobs..which are often not performed properly. The nuts who think these kids should be placed in foster care are just THAT--nuts.

They were just being Little Rascals, and thank GOODNESS Ryo is safe.

Demi Moore is a big, fat, cross-eyed, OLD liar.

Wow, Demi. Just, wow.
Photo: GoingPlastic.com

Yep. That was harsh. You know what else is harsh? Demi Moore LYING in French Marie Claire Magazine about her plastic surgery.

Listen up, kids, here's what Mrs. Kutcher had to say about having plastic surgery:

"It's completely false, I've never had it done," she said, adding: "But I would never judge those who have.

"If it's the best thing for them, then I don't see a problem."

Moore went on to say that she disliked the idea of undergoing surgery "to hold up the ageing process."

"It's a way to combat your neurosis. The scalpel won't make you happy.

"That said, the day when I start crying when I look at myself in the mirror might be the day when I'm less adamant about not having it done," she said.

"For the moment I prefer to be a beautiful woman of my age than try desperately to look thirty."

Despite her protestations, Moore's surgeon in the US is said to be Brian Novack.

In 2004 a close friend said: "He's a fantastic surgeon and his clients don't look like they've had surgery. Demi can't stand it that there is part of her that is not perfect."

Wow. Really, Demi? What about those tits? Oh, those were for a film (the classic **COUGHpieceofshitCOUGH**, Striptease), so it doesn't count? Get out. And that face? It's so tight Ashton could bounce a quarter off it.

Here's the thing. No one really cares if Demi has a nip and a tuck, or a shot or a peel. JUST DON'T EFFING LIE ABOUT IT!

Chris Brown Received His Wrist-Slap Today.

Brown got probation and community service
for doing this.

I don't like the look on his face.

TMZ has done a cracker jack job (seriously) with their reporting of the whole Chris Brown circus in downtown L.A. today. I would just like to say that this is Celebrity Justice once again. May I just say that I know someone who was charged with a "minor in possession" (for an UNOPENED can of beer!) and received a very similar sentence. In fact, this person was facing some jail time. I call complete and utter bullshit on the special treatment Brown received for the brutal beating he gave Rihanna.

I'm not saying anything new, or anything I haven't said before. Here is the TMZ.com rundown of today's sentencing:

He must complete a 52 week domestic violence program sponsored by the Commonwealth Catholic Charities.

Brown must personally come to court every 3 months during his probation. The first appearance will be November 19.

Brown must perform 180 days of community labor. He must also pay $2,500 in restitution. He'll have to pay another $2,500 in probation expenses. He must also pay a $30 criminal conviction fee --BARGAIN! He must also pay $400 that goes into a domestic violence fund.

The judge issued a protective order. Brown is ordered not to harass, assault, threaten, molest, threaten, etc. Rihanna. He must surrender all firearms within 24 hours. He can't have any contact with Rihanna, even on the phone or through a 3rd person. He must stay 100 yards away from her, unless there's an entertainment-related event, in which he must stay 10 yards away. The protective order lasts 5 years.

Brown must get prior approval before leaving the country.

Brown jumped the gun and said he accepted the terms of probation, even before the judge finished her sentence

UPDATE: The judge just said she wanted to reiterate that she wanted him to do hard time ... like washing cars, grafitti removal, etc."

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/#ixzz0PFRuEqRI

******
"The court has released the officer's report from the night Chris Brown beat up Rihanna -- describing the entire incident in graphic detail.

According to the report, cops responded to a "screaming woman" -- and when they arrived, they noticed a "very upset and crying" Rihanna seated in the driver's seat of a parked vehicle.

Rihanna told the officer she got into an argument with Chris Brown over something that had occurred at an event they were at earlier in the evening.

"The victim said she became enraged and slammed both of her fists against the dashboard on the passenger side of the car they were in. She reported that the defendant then pulled the vehicle over and reached over her with his right hand. He opened the car door and tried to force the victim out."

According to the report, Brown was unable to shove Rihanna out of the car because she was wearing a seatbelt.

The report continues, "When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the car. "

"The victim then faced the defendant and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then continued driving."

"As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand."

Rihanna told cops the "assault caused her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter over her clothing and the inside of the car."

Rihanna told cops after Brown "stopped his first assault .. she looked in the mirror and saw her eye beginning to swell.

[Brown] looked at [Rihanna] and said 'I'm going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!'"

Rihanna told police she tried to call her personal assistant, but she didn't pick up -- but Rihanna says she "pretended to talk, saying, 'I'm on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there.'"

Rihanna says she pulled the act "because she did not want to get beat anymore."

But after Rihanna's fake phone conversation, she claims Brown "looked at [Rihanna] and said, "You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I'm really going to kill you!"

Rihanna told cops that Brown unleashed a second wave of punches, "during which time [Rihanna] interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face." He continued to punch her on her left arm, which caused a contusion on her left tricep.

At that point Rihanna tried texting her assistant. Brown threw the phone out of the car, stopped the vehicle and Rihanna then tried opening her door to get out, but Brown sped off and the door shut with Rihanna inside.

Brown placed Rihanna in a headlock while he drove, then bit her on her left ear. The car eventually stopped and Rihanna took the keys out of the ignition, and Brown began to punch her again in the face and arms. He placed her in a headlock and started applying pressure to her carotid artery. She couldn't breathe and began to lose consciousness. She tried freeing herself, and Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her.

Rihanna took off her shoe and tried breaking the passenger window, and he continued to punch her.

Eventually, Brown got out of the car. Rihanna opened the door and continued screaming. Brown began punching her again. He got back in the car and screamed "Where are my f***ing keys?" He got out, looked for the keys in vain, and when he could not find them removed several CDs and walked away.

Officers were called and observed numerous contusions and abrasions to Rihanna's face and forehead, as well as bruising on her left arm. There were other injuries as well.

Investigators determined Brown was wearing a large ring on his right hand which caused several of Rihanna's injuries."

Let me get this straight. Chris Brown beat the ever-lovin' shit out of his girlfriend, dumped her ass out of the car--then made sure to grab a couple of his favorite CDs out of the rented Lambo before fleeing the scene?

Awesome.