Jennifer Lopez falls on her fat butt during the AMAs...and I LOVE it.

Does it get any better than that? A song called Louboutins and she totally eats it? (It's at the 2:40 mark.) And don't get me started on that ghetto entrance of hers. Just DON'T.


I like to think of JLo's ass-fall as a metaphor for what she considers her "career". 

Harsh.

Rihanna could also use some parental advice while in Paris.

Babygurrrl seems to have 

"left home without it"...again.

I don't know...maybe there are some underpinnings (as the old biddies used to say) underneath that sheer, striped thing Rihanna is sporting, but come ON. Here we have yet another young, 21-year old trotting around in hooker clothing.

I really don't think I'm a prude. How-effing-ever. This dress qualifies for a "Ho Stro" get-up. Know'msayin'? 

I think I tend to be a little more Judgey McJudgerson when I have Felix for the day. Or MAYBE these gals need to stop dressing like Vegas strippers? You decide, because I can't.

 

Raise your hand if you love the F-Bomb on network TV!

Y'all better watch this while you can. I'm positive NBC will yank this video.





HAHAHAHA! There are a LOT of "too bads" (literal and sarcastic) about this craziness.

1.) Too bad this was Jenny Slate's first appearance on SNL...and she drops the F-bomb. Awesome. It was fucking hilarious. Look at her "OOPS!" face.

"Oh, shit."

 2.) Too bad Lorne Michaels probably reamed her a new one after the skit was over. Hey Lorne?? Your sinking ship is getting a lot of much needed press. Shut the EFF up, and leave Jenny alone.


3.) Too bad Kristin Wiig is such a pro that she didn't even flinch. That was awesome. And


4.)  Too bad this makes up for stupid Megan Fox's hosting.

It's called a win/win. 

Khloe Kardashian's Engagement Ring

Khloe's big-ass ring.

Let's all hope Khloe Kardashian made a stipulation in the pre-nup (IS there one?) to keep the ring, knowm'sayin'?

I'll bet Kourtney is pissed at Khloe for stealing her thunder and tabloid covers, and I'll be KIM is pissed that she won't be the first Kardashian chick to get married.

I smell another family girl fight! 

Pamela Anderson? The REAL Origin of The Swine Flu on Parade in New Zealand

NAST.

OhdearLord. Why does Pamela Anderson feel the need to show us her raggedy bits and pieces...STILL? Here is Old Girl in New Zealand for their version of Fashion Week. (How awesome can it be if this old biddy is the best they have to offer?) Apparently, Pammy's working with some weird-ass "designer" named Richie Rich (who literally fell down on roller skates while following her down the runway).

Here's the thing. Pam has two young boys. And by that I mean CHILDREN OF HER OWN, not two dumb models tryna get ahead. Those two kids had better have standing reservations at every single rehab facility on the west coast. 

Pamela Anderson needs to STOP this -- NOW. 

Rihanna? Nice nipple rings! NSFW, ya'll...

Quit acting like we can't see 'em, RiRi.

I think it's only fair to show Rihanna looking pretty effing hot yesterday...and yep, those are some nipple rings. Chris Brown is cultivating pulling weed(s) right now...and his ex is parading herself all over town. Sweet!

Here's something y'all  probably didn't know: I used to have a ring just like RiRi's....just the right one. I loved it while I had it, but I'm over it now, and it's gone.

Ssssshhhh. Don't tell anyone that, okay?

Mariah Carey is on my last GD nerve.

 

OhforpitySAKE, Mimoo!

I actually feel sorry for Nick Cannon. I'm not entirely sure he knew what he was getting into by marrying this "eternally 12-year old" (her words) piece of crazy. He's her footman, umbrella carrier, Hello Kitty curator...you get the idea. According to her ex-bitch Eminem, she doesn't care for the sex, so, yeah. Poor Nick.

 

Check out Mimoo's size 4-Toddler XXXXXXXL tutu performing at the Palms in Las Vegas. You know, I shop a lot in the baby department these days because of my Meatpie Felix. I always see these tremendous little ballerina get-ups in the little girls' department; I sigh and think, "someday maybe I'll have a baby granddaughter to shop for".  But wait. It appears as though I can simply dress myself like a giant toddler-ballerina. It sure didn't stop Mariah Carey, did it?

I want one in black. I want to be the black swan from "Swan Lake". Clearly I could pull it off, oui?

       

All.The. Rage. Hell yeah, bitches. Break out the tutus. I give you permission. And so does Mimoo.