Megan Fox is a nightmare of a hot bitch.

Megan Fox is a crazy bitch...

but she's a fierce, crazy bitch.

Self-proclaimed crazy chick, Megan Fox takes center-stage in the 4th anniversary issue of Wonderland Magazine. (Yeah, I've never heard of it either, and I'm damn sure they don't have it at Atkinson's Market in Sun Valley, Idaho. Did I mention we're on vaca--I mean, HOLIDAY, Sweeties?)

ANYpretentiousness. I just can't figure out how I feel about Megan Fox. She's crazy gorgeous and has a body that won't quit...but there's that little girl voice of hers that is hard to take. It doesn't go with the rest of the package. But she is nuts about Marilyn Monroe (see that horrible tattoo on her forearm--nothing says Classy with a Capital C like a forearm tat on a chick, oui?). Here's a little bit of her interview in that magazine most of us haven't heard of:

On what the fuck's wrong with her:
"I definitely have some kind of mental problem and I haven't pinpointed what it is."

On her new movie Jennifer's Body:
"I think it's really about how fucked up and scary girls are. Girls are fucking nightmares."

On being a product:
"Part of my product is being outrageous and outspoken so even when I'm not being that way I'm going to be sold that way."

On Michael Bay:
"[Michael Bay] wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for."

Hmmmm. I have Buckcherry's Crazy Bitch going through my head after reading that...and I'm sure Megan would take that as a compliment.

Whitney Houston Screws Up the New Material

Ohdearlord. Whitney. Whit-NEY. Don't blame a little chattin' with Oprah on that thing we used to call a voice. Oh, girl.

Did anyone else feel like they were watching the MADTV skit, Whitney Houston Screws Up the Classics?




"Me and Bobby's baby"--did she REALLY say that?? I can't tell which is Whitney and which is the genius of Debra Wilson.

I realize I'm gonna get verbally bitch-slapped by mah gurrls.

Happy Birthday, Salma Hayek!

If any one of you can show me a sexier scene than this, keep it to yourself.

Happy 43rd Birthday, Salma.

This one's for My Boys--and by "Boys", I mean "Gurrrls".

Lola looks darling!

Oh, Madonna. I would hate to think you're pimping out your darling daughter, Lola. But I truly have the feeling she was dying to dress up all "Like a Virgin"-like. Lord knows my boys wanna dress up like me. (Patrick? Ya hear me talkin' to ya?)

ANYgay.

via my homegirl AmyGrindhouse.com:

"There are mixed reports about this clip. According to our BFFs at WeArePopSlags, the above may not be the final promo, strictly speaking. According to their report, fans were disappointed by it and confused as to why a remix of the song had been used. A second video is expected somewhere in the next two weeks. That second promo will reportedly feature Lourdes, Madonna’s daughter, dressed like her mother from the Like a Virgin era.

Celebration will be available to download exclusively through the Apple iTunes store for free for the next 48 hours. Celebration is available for free download until September 3, 2009."

Download that shit up, y'all.

Today's Blind Item - OxyContin Edition

"It has been a big week for those Academy Award nominated/winning actresses and their drugs. In this week's adventure, this barely a B Academy Award nominee/winner (different from last week's druggie) was boarding a flight to Europe when she realized she had a handful of OxyContin in her purse but no prescription. Instead of throwing them away she decided to take the entire handful before proceeding through security. Then, she and her child and nanny all boarded the plane. Our actress stayed conscious for about 45 minutes which the nanny found remarkable."

[CDaN]

This one's tough on all kinds of levels. First of all, it's sad. Secondly, we need to read the clues carefully in order to rule out EVERY actress in Hollywood.

1.) She was either nominated or won the Oscar (so she may not own the Golden Eunuch, but may have her nomination framed above the toilet.)

2.) She has one child. Where dad?

3.) Thank the Lord for the nanny. But did she blab this bit of gossip and may be in need of a new job elsewhere? Ooops.

4.) Names being tossed about are:

a. Michelle Williams
b. Nicole Kidman (she's A-list, though)
c. Salma Hayek
d. Kate Hudson

My 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Perkins would be proud of my outline abilities, except I'm sure she's dead.

Who do you guys think this is?

That Duggar Woman is Pregnant Again.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Oh, gooood. I don't know why the news of Michelle Duggar getting pregnant again annoys me so much, but it really does ("it was a surprise!"), The very sound of her voice makes me angry.

via HuffPo:

"The Duggar family of TLC fame just announced that they are expecting their 19th child. Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar currently have 18 children ranging from 0 to 21 years old and a grandchild on the way, making it pretty clear that their kids intend to follow in their pregnancy footsteps.

The Duggars live in northwest Arkansas and can be seen on TLC's hit "17 Kids and Counting" "18 Kids and Counting" "19 Kids and Counting." Assuming they make it to 20 kids and stop, and assuming each of their kids have the same amount of children (which are both big 'ifs') how long until those with Duggar blood take over America?"

I'm getting more and more creeped out by Michelle and Jim's cult, er, family. The matchy-matchy clothing, vacant stares, goody-goody appearances...

GAAAAAH....the Duggar Compund.

Horrifying.

"Oh, that PARTICULAR beating...NOW, I remember." -- Chris Brown

I would love to know what's so GD funny.

So Chris Brown does remember something. Like, wow. Don't you love how he keeps saying "what happened" as opposed to "what I did"? Yeah. Like, wow.

Here's Chris's lame-ass "explanation" of his statements made on Larry King Live.

LOS ANGELES — Chris Brown says he remembers beating Rihanna and that a brief interview clip making the rounds online Monday in which he said he didn't recall the incident "is not representative of what I said."

The R&B singer tells People magazine in a lengthy statement that he "misspoke" during the 30-second clip and that he was asked "something like 4 or 5 times" about the altercation with Rihanna during an hourlong interview.

"Of course I remember what happened," Brown said in a statement late Monday. "Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur.

"When I look at it now, it's just like, wow, like, I can't believe that that actually happened," Brown told King."

Sigh. Just shut up already.

THANKS, Christine!