Really, Brad? REALLY??
Fight Club, y'all
Listen up, Mister Man.
Brad? I'm giving you some good, solid advice for your 46th birthday, so pay some effing attention.
Shave that gotdamn (that's how I'm spelling it now, because that's how I say it) billygoat SCRUFF. Angelina is starring in a film with Johhny-bloody-Depp, or haven't you heard? If you think for ONE MINUTE you and Vanessa Paradis are SAFE, you're both insane. You know I love Angelina...and I love Johnny, but I think the world will spontaneously COMBUST (at least yours will) if you don't get your shit together. Quit being a lazy-ass slacker with your God-given looks. They got you where you are, my friend. You live in a different world than the rest of us do, so straighten up and fly right. But, if you wanna see Johnny "rolling Angelina a brown French cigarette" (that's code for fornicating), stay with that Homeless, Stinky Dude look.
You're welcome.
Thanks, Annette, for the inspiration. xx
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